If you're middle-aged, standing at a lectern, and taking a sip out of your water bottle -- and thousands are watching -- a bendable straw is a great idea. It means you can drink without tucking your chin down, revealing the double chins that just don't go with being a former beauty queen and future presidentette.
Okay? But don't go too far.
Now that we know Sarah Palin is raking in the dough of a pop diva, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that her demands at speaking engagements are about as ridiculous as those of a Mariah or J. Lo. A few industrious Cal State Stanislaus students scrounged up a contract detailing Palin’s bizarrely specific demands for an upcoming speech at the university: She requires two bottles of water at her lectern, not just one; straws must be "bendable," not straight; and, the document specifies, "no Plexiglass or thin lecterns."
Another thing to keep in mind is that Sarah Palin doesn't have Mariah's or J.Lo's voice. Palin's voice hits you like sharp fingernails dragged across a Hummer's hood, banging at your ears like shotguns aimed at protected species. A muffled microphone should be another requirement.
And speaking of Hummers...
Additionally, Palin’s “rider” demands first-class airfare for two. Or, if that’s too much of a hassle, a private jet is just fine, though it “MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger… for West Coast Events; or, a Hawker 800 or larger.” And if you’re transporting the former governor by car, it must be via SUV, though a “black town car” will suffice.
