Do unto Iraqis as we have done unto ourselves! Keep 'em indoors watching TV!
This nation of 27 million people spent much of the day crowding around TV sets to watch mesmerizing replays of a video recording that showed the 69-year-old Mr. Hussein, in what appeared to be a state of subdued resignation, being led to the gallows shortly after 6 a.m. in Baghdad by masked executioners, and having a noose fashioned from a thick rope of yellow hemp lowered around his neck.
We all know that very few Americans have protested Bush in the streets because they'd miss an episode of "CSI" or "American Idol" or "Tsunami, After the Aftermath." Now we know Iraqis have been just like us all along! W knew it! Only the CIA (and the rest of us) missed it!
Just wait. Clearly the insurgency has come to an end. If there are a few remaining diehards in some neighborhood of Baghdad or some outlying town in the west of Iraq, send troops out with flat-screens, make sure the power is on, and show some good American violence, earthquakes, mano a mano combat, gang rape... whatever!
That's all, folks. The war is over!

Rotate episodes of al-American Chopper, al-Meerkat Manor and al-Seinfeld with an occasional episode of This Old Rubble!!
Uh, there's just one problem. They only get like four hours of electricity per day. How do you fill the other twenty hours?? I've got it!! Reprint all of their money to include Sudoku puzzles!!
Posted by: ascap_scab | December 31, 2006 at 10:11 PM